Every day I sit down over my morning coffee and have a chat with God, mostly I am just talking without a whole lot of listening but the past few weeks I have been really trying to listen, for guidance, direction, wisdom… I haven’t heard anything yet but I am waiting still, because I know that when he speaks he will be clear, and the timing will be right. As I listen I have been pulled into the scriptures and I have been reading His word, reminding myself of the things he has said to me in the past and still listening for things he might be saying now.
This past week in particular I have been waiting on an answer to the question ‘What’s next’ for me, I know he has a plan for me, to use my gifts in the way that would best serve his purposes but I don’t know yet what that will look like and the waiting is hard, especially now as the boredom of lockdown has firmly set in.
The main theme that I have been hearing through the word of God is that work is valuable for the Kingdom, and that work is good, that work doesn’t always look the way think it will. It begs the question, what will he have me do? I am excited at new possibilities but so far nothing has emerged on the surface and I have been grumbling about that (being honest here). I hate being bored.
Then yesterday, to escape the walls I have been spending far too much time in I went for a long walk, I saw everything from a man shooting himself full of heroin, a family skating together, a couple walking their dog, a security guard keeping watch over the doors of a mall and an older man delivering food and sleeping bags and clothing to the tent city that has popped up downtown near Moss Park. There is so much to do, so many people in need, so many things still yet to enjoy even during lock down.
Right now, with the boys homeschooling there is not a lot that can be done too far from my doors but as I was reminded by a friend today, spring is coming and with spring coming there is hope and excitement for a new stage, not just of this lockdown but in my life and for now I will just have to sit in that hope for a while.
Enjoy the little moments, the opportunities that come, and embrace the unembracable.