Most people see January as the first month of a new year; rightly so I suppose since it is the new year after all. However, for me the new year traditions always come in September; maybe it’s the years of starting school in september and always being told about fresh starts with a new teacher or new school etc. Whatever the reason I have never shaken the habit of seeing September as a place to rewind the things that need rewinding and starting fresh again, with new plans, new hopes, new goals. I always get my new agenda in September and when I see those crisp clean pages I feel a fresh beginning stretching out before me.
During the summer months I had time to think, time to refresh and what I found was a sense of lacking, a feeling of loss or complacency or maybe both. I couldn’t figure it out, I was both sad and frustrated and I yearned for more but I couldn’t tell you what that was.
The other day I watched a movie on Netflix and while I was watching it I was hit with a realization; it was a spiritual thing. My longing was for more joy, more closeness with God. My feelings of loss came from that lack of time spent with him; and my sadness was the missing of that closeness we had.
One of the things that became apparent quite quickly was that for me, writing is a way of sorting out feelings and thoughts, it helps unscatter my brain and figure out what is actually going on up there. So, here I sit. On the abyss of something absolutely wonderful that is to come. Starting to once again spend time each day, proper time, not just throwing prayers into the wind as I move from A to B. Time where I pray for my husband, for my kids, for my friends, for my church and for the world. Time where I share my thoughts and worries, fears and disapointments, hopes and dreams with the God of the Universe who made me for relationship with him. Already I am seeing him, like scales falling off my eyes I have begun to once again purposely look for the ways in which God is working in my life and the life of my kids and it’s fun.
The other night Josh was praying for rain and cooler weather and I was quick to correct and tell him that God isn’t Santa, you don’t hand him a wish list and walk away… (which is true yes) but I quickly learned so much more about God and relationship when God gave Josh exactly what he had been praying for. It poured yesterday, I mean buckets, in between were sunny periods and then more rain, and it was cooler. When the kids got off the bus after school Josh was screaming “God answered my prayers!” and Kaleb was screaming “It’s Josh’s fault mama, God answered his prayers!’ (When I say screaming I really mean it, the whole of the distillery district probably heard their proclamations of answered prayer. I laughed and we chatted about it, because here is what I learned.
1) God wants to hear from them, whatever they have to say, whatever their worries are, whatever their desires and while I need to help them learn I shouldn’t try to control that budding relationship they have with Him.
2) God uses the littest prayers (like rain and cooler weather) to build a foundation of faith in the lives of his children.
I was so happy to see that rain yesterday, despite hating that it actually did rain, I was happy that God loves my kids so much that it matters to him that they believe in the power of prayer, and that they learn that their voices, their thoughts, matter to the God who made it all.
What a beautiful rain…
What a beautiful September…
Happy New Year.