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| Joshua – 19 weeks |
Once upon a time, in a world not so far away. Valentines day meant chocolates and flowers, romantic dinners and beautiful words written in a Hallmark card. It was nice, I think on it fondly and we still celebrate in this house, with cards and small gifts that show that we love the family we are a part of. You see, my heart is so full of love that one day a year can’t possibly be enough to tell these three men how incredible I think they are, nor how blessed I believe I am.
However, Valentines day is also a day for us to do our best to tell you about CHD, as you all know by now. Heart day as it’s come to be called in the world of Heart Moms is day to tell your friends, your co-workers and anyone else who will listen about our little warriors, the battles they face, and how we hope to one day win the war.
Have I ever told you how they detected Joshua’s heart defect? I went to the regularly scheduled 19 week ultrasound to discover if this little person growing inside me was a boy or a girl. We were so nervous that day because secretly we both felt like it was a boy, so were prepared for that, but we were terrified that if it was a girl we would feel disappointment. We had names picked out for both sexes of course, Joshua and Kiera. As I Lay on the table being prodded right in the blatter I could have sworn she said ‘she’ when talking about the baby. I closed my eyes, trying hard to change the image in my mind of the little boy I thought I was carrying to the little Kiera I was carrying, I just couldn’t picture it though. I had been so sure we would have a boy. Then the tech turned to Tim and said ‘see this?’ and Tim looked, he smiled and said ‘is that a package?’… and the tech. laughed and said ‘yes, that’s his package’ with a small smirk. Somehow I had heard wrong, Kiera faded into the mist and Joshua became rooted in my heart.
A few days later our midwife called, it seems that during that ultrasound they had found that the umbilical cord was a two vessel cord, rather than three (two input and one output). She said we would need a deeper ‘stage 2’ ultrasound at women’s college. The two vessel cord is often a sign of either kidney problems or heart problems she had said, but it could also be absolutely nothing to worry about. I held onto that tidbit of information and other than making sure I was at that appointment I didn’t think of it again.
The stage two ultrasound was pretty much like the first, we had it confirmed that Joshua was indeed a boy and Tim and I chatted about inconsequential things while the technical worked.
A few days later Tim called me at work, the midwife had called him he explained. They are seeing an enlarged (ballooned) right ventricle. A fetal ECHO would be needed to assess what we were dealing with. Again we were told that it could be nothing and though mildly concerned we again went about normally without stressing too much about it.
You see, there were other complications with Joshua’s health, and with the pregnancy, things I won’t get into here for fear of seeing this post turn into a HUGE post. However, it meant that we had a number of scares along the way that Josh would arrive too early. On January 1st 2008 I was taken to the hospital and told we would be having the baby that night, until the pediatrician explained that there was no way a baby with his heart defect would ever live that young outside the womb. They injected me with steroids to help his lungs and though we had a scary week of ‘we have to take him now’s’… he didn’t come. Instead he came three weeks later via an emergency C-section. Those three weeks bought him time, they allowed his lungs to develop just that little bit more, they allowed him to gain just that much more weight. I have shared his birth story before so I won’t do so again, but I will tell you this. Early detection saved the life of my son. That is fact, that’s just one more important thing you need to know about CHD. The earlier the defect is detected the better the chances that child has of living to see his first, fourth, 20th birthday.
Through the Lens of Motherhood 
laurie I definately understand the emotional pain you suffered that day. The day the doctor told you your son had a serious heart defect that may interfere with his life yet to come. I understand how foggy all the details of that day would of been for you because I too have foggy memories of the moment I was told our daughter had died. God gave us a heart to mother our children long before they were born that never leaves even when they are are well into adulthood. It is a spirit of love and protection, something so deep in us that I will never completely understand it. I studied motherhood in university and I conclude that only God could give us this ability, this compassion for another person. If we love our children this much, how much more does the maker of all love, Jesus Christ himself love us!!!
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