I have been wondering lately about the role that I play as a wife, more specifcally the role of a pastors wife. What does it mean? What does it entail? I have seen other pastors wives through out my life and they all seem to have it all together, very spiritual women who stand by their men in heroic ways. If I were to compare myself to them I would have to say that I fail. (Please, this is not meant to garner emails or comments it’s merely a look at my role in life).
My thoughts have revolved around my role as a woman who chose to marry a Pastor, knowing all that it entailed or would entail in life. Tim made sure I was well aware of what would be expected of me before we said ‘I do’ and I happily signed on. It’s a role that I love, he’s a man that I respect as a Pastor but more importantly as a husband. If I were to stop the comparisons I would find that God chose me for this role, and that he has a plan for me within this particular role. No comparisons needed.
I have discovered that what I love about being not just a wife but a pastors wife, is the chance that I have to ‘promote’ him so to speak ( I come from a PR family). He is a talented man, one who was called from medicine to be a pastor, one who loves what he does and one who is changing lives every day. This is someone that I am partnered with in life, someone I can proudly call friend and husband and it’s an honour to tell you and others about his God given call.
I watch him minister to people, I see him struggle through a sermon and I am so excited by what the future has for us. Will it lead to riches? Not the kind that matter here on earth, but I see him building the kingdom and in my heart I can already see in my mind the day that he stands before the throne and hears God say to him ‘well done my good and faithful servant.’
To be the wife at his side, cheering for him, praying for him is a pleasure and a joy. My role as a pastors wife is not a job, it’s not what I do or do not do for a church, but rather what I can do for him, as his wife. Are there expectations for me? Probably, but anyone who knows me probably also knows that I am not the typical ‘pastors wife’. I don’t fall into the pattern very easily. My talents are not politics and service, and my ministry is less than expected I fear, certainly less than what I have seen as examples before me. Earlier I mentioned that I was a failure by comparison. However, when broken right down to the root of the issue, I am merely a wife, a wife of a very wonderful man that I love passionately.
The only person I need to look to to measure myself against is my Mom, and the way she has loved and supported my Dad for the past 40 years. So the question is, is there really a difference between a PR wife, a plumbers wife or yes a pastors wife? I say no, a wife, any wife is her husbands partner, his greatest fan, his advocate, his friend and his confident. It doesn’t or shouldn’t matter what his job choice is.
Yes – a post about a husbands job as a husband should follow… and might, but since I am a wife this will have to do for now.