Just beyond the sunrise

So many people have been praying so hard for Josh, so many expectations have been placed on today’s ECHO, so many hopes rested on today’s test results that I have a heavy heart when I sit down to update you all.

The ECHO did not go as planned, the right side of Joshua’s heart is further enlarged and surgery inevitable. There is no way to ‘fix’ the Tricuspid valve, the only option left to us is another surgery. There is a part of me that aches from the blow and there is a part that is frustrated because I thought this time, this time with all the prayers that went up on behalf of Joshua surely a miracle was in the works; maybe it still is, maybe the way to the miracle is with this surgery. I don’t know. I find myself feeling a fraction of what Job must have felt like. I want to understand the why, I want to know the reasons and understand why the answer this time was no. I find myself yet again struggling with the knowledge that hope in this case is over, the decision has been made. There is no going back, we have surgery on the horizon and be it in 6 months of even a year it is still there, looming just over the sunrise.

I hear myself explaining this again and I struggle with this feeling of being a burden, of always asking for prayer, always having to say that things aren’t going well. I was so hoping that this time I could write and say that we had good news. I so wanted to tell you about this amazing thing that happened, and all I can say is that here we go again. I am sorry, I am so sorry that I can’t write that to you today.

I want to leave this on an upbeat note, and though I am struggling to find one, I can leave you with this; God knows the beginning from the end, he has Josh safe in his arms and he loves us, there is a plan though we can’t possibly see it. We prayed for a miracle and we may still get it, though how it comes to us may not be what we had expected or planned but in the end he knows best. As a family, we just have to cling to that, like the woman who reached out to touch the robe of Jesus in faith of healing, it will come, in this life or the next.

Published by lauriehaughton

Author & Photographer

2 thoughts on “Just beyond the sunrise

  1. Laurie, We love you and your family so much… And this news makes me sad. We will continue to pray. God has a plan I strongly believe and what that is … God does know. Josh is held so tightly in his arms Laurie he will do him no harm. Much love to you. Xo With hope and many prayers.

    Like

  2. Dear Laurie and Tim,Hearts that have been on this journey with you echo the heaviness and ache of your heart, our eyelids are heavy. We have anxiously waited for the result. He who travelled this earthly road for us knew the brokenness of our hearts. He has carried you this far, no matter the results do not let go of the joy and optimism of the wonderful summer holidays. Put your trust in Him. May His peace attend you. Our prayers will not cease.But You, O Lord, are a shield for me,My glory and the One who lifts up my head.I cry to the Lord with my voice,And He heard me from His Holy hill.I lay down and slept;I awoke, for the Lord sustained me, I will not be afraid… Psalm 3:3-6With our love, blessings and prayers from our hearts, Irene (for us both)

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: