Yoga Freedom

Yoga Freedom… what does it mean? I had been wondering that, I went to number of classes at the gym trying to figure it out, I even found that I enjoyed some of them…

Last night we went again to the Monday night Yoga Freedom class… it was odd. I got there before my friend (J for the sake of needing something to call her by). I sat on the mat listening to the others already there and waiting for class to begin. They all know each other, and spoke of all the different social things that they had been doing. I realized that I am not just attending a yoga class at the gym but I am actually joining into a secret little society of yoga  fanatics who attend everything yoga that the gym offers and even go to the other yoga classes in the neighbourhood. This is no workout, relax session this is a religion! I am a bystander, a newbie and by all accounts a lesser of yogites. They watch me walk in and they cringe because they know me as that new girl who can’t even do the ‘something or other’ salutation. I walk in anyway and smirk to myself that they have no choice but to put up with me, I am the devil of their religion.

J arrives and we start to chat about our days, we just sit there, no stretching, no deep breathing, no ‘ahhhhs’ at the end of breaths… just chit chat about the kids and life and the plans we have for the week. This is after all a chance for us (two busy Moms) to have a break, to visit with each other and to work out… we got death glares from a few but for the most part we were ignored like the pesky brats they think we are.

The teacher arrives, silence, soft music…then the question… ‘what do you want to work on tonight’ and it dawns of me… this is Yoga FREEDOM, it means that people make request. So, instead of tuning into my radio and asking for the newest Bon Jovi song I go to Yoga Freedom and I can request things like ‘the wheel’ or the ‘sky salutation’… I get it now. It took me a while but I get it now.

Let’s just say that from that point on the night went down hill, if it had even gotten on an upward slope I am still not sure. We lay on the floor for a crazy amount of time, doing nothing but breathing of all things!!! I can do that in my own bed, and quite honestly I do it every night, I rather enjoy doing it in my bed, I can multi task that way and sleep AND practice breathing! Amazing concept really, I should start a class! I was bored, but I didn’t know if J was bored and what do you do when you are with someone. You stick it out.

At some point, we got asked to move our leg! I was so excited, we were going to do something now… I moved my leg to position and waited… nothing…. I waited a little longer…. finally the teacher said… wiggle your toes! I wiggled my toes, half expecting some crazy thing to happen, but alas the only thing that happened were that my toes moved.The teacher started talking randomly at this point about the foot fetish she has and how much she loves her boyfriends feet. I dared to peak at J just as she was looking at me… she was bored too. What to do… it’s like leaving church in the middle of very serious sermon, in a small congregation so you know that they will all look at you. We giggled a little bit at our predicament, the teacher looked at us and made her way to our side of the room where she stood at my feet. I suppose had I giggled again I would have been tossed from the class, or maybe they would have collectively thrown us out. I didn’t want to chance such a scene so I tried again to get into the spirit of the class…

The problem is that we have so few hours in a day, so little chances to actually get to the gym to begin with that when I am there I actually want to work out. I don’t want to lie on the floor wiggling my toes and breathing. We move, our knees this time…. mine crack very loudly and it takes everything I have in me not to laugh again, with the teacher standing over my I feel like I am re living high school again… she finally seemed satisfied that I wouldn’t disrupt the class again and she moved back to the middle of the room. She began to talk again, telling us to listen to our bodies in case they have something to say to us, J turns to me and says ‘ I think your knees want to talk to you’ and I nearly pee my pants. I have to leave the room I am laughing so hard. Poor J s left to grab our stuff… we both end up at the bottom of the stairs busting our guts…

Needless to say, we won’t be going back to Yoga Freedom again any time soon, nor do I think we would be welcome…

We did however get to have a very productive work out after leaving class… what a night!


Published by lauriehaughton

Author & Photographer

One thought on “Yoga Freedom

  1. Laurie, C & I attended a Yoga Seminar at the Mission Fest, year before last. It was led by awell known Sri Lankan Pastor, Pastor Benjamin.Lynn Stewart has borrowed the CD on it. I shall ask her for it. You'd be intersted in hearing what he has to say. You have hit the nail on the head, however they put it, it is cultic despitetheir innocuous presentation of it. Irene


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: