Today my heart goes out to a really special friend, she will know who she is when she reads this. Her daughter is about to undergo heart surgery in Poland, she is only 5 months old. How do I find the words to comfort a friend when I can’t find them to comfort myself? Do I say ‘Im sorry’? That will certainly make her feel worlds better than she does right now! I am sure that sending a long distance hug would work too… I mean seriously! What do you say to a new Mom who’s heart is breaking over thier babies broken heart? I don’t know and yet I am one of those Moms…
The only thing I can possibly think to say to her right now, is what I wanted to someone to say to me… ‘This sucks!’. No platitudes, no false promises of hope or meaningless words like ‘it’ll be okay’. It isn’t okay, it’s not going to be okay and to tell me that just frustrates and annoys! Sit with me in the moment, allow me to run the gammet of my emotions, let me rage, let me vent, let me cry, let me even feel sorry for myself once and awhile! Then, after you have allowed for all of that, then you can say ‘Im sorry’. Not for the life we created, not for the child who is ill, but for the pain they suffer, for the fear that we are feeling, for the grief that we feel.
So, for my friend… you are an Ocean away and though I can’t sit with you physically, know that I am by your side mentally, praying you through this time, crying for you, angry with you, hoping with you and listening to you. Rant if you want, cry if you want, get angry if you want… because this does suck! No child should suffer heart surgery! No baby should be forced to suffer in this way… but also know this. She is loved, not only by you but by God himself who loves her far more than you do. He can comfort her in ways that we can’t even imagine!
My hope, my prayer, is that he comforts you as well, and that you feel his arms wrapped around you. My hope and prayer is that you have someone there who can allow you to cope in whatever way is neccesary for you, that someone is there to sit with you and listen.
One thought on “It’s ok to say it sucks!”
Thank you Laurie! You helped me a lot and you are still helping. Little G is doing well and the surgery is over. Now we need to help her to recover from all of it.